people who give a little more
thought to life would
conclude that it is all a very
difficult affair -
the default setting being Sad,
with those occasional
Happy being the transitory
contrast.
and Sad is really not Bad.
Sad is real -
it provokes and toughens you up;
Happy's just like some bad
drug - puts you on a high and
leaves you in the lurch when the
high is over.
my parents both had
gloomy childhoods coming from
the strangest of dysfunctional
families,
it is amazing how they've put
ours together in spite of,
or maybe because of, all these.
yet
ive inherited a very
realistic, somewhat cynical,
belief system from them.
which was more deeply affirmed
by the perpetual joke that
my life has proved to be.
nobody has inspired me more than
my father in that
his life is somewhat a great disaster
but ive known him to be a good man
even in the worst times.
he is an irony,
a cynic constantly struggling for
every chance to believe in the
better part of the human spirit.
in this struggle,
he'd be proven wrong-
he had been punished many times
for his compassion,
integrity and his standing firm to
principles.
he is not Greatly Successful
as the world would have us believe
but I honestly know that he could be
if he allowed himself to be
someone short of who he is.
i learnt that being a cynic
is no excuse to not being a
good person for the world.
he is a better cynic
than i will ever be.
then there is my mother,
whom i inherited a great deal of
pessimism and issues from.
before her cancer,
i have never known
her to be Happy-
she laughs, she socialises-
but she is not Happy.
there was an evening in 2006 i literally
watched as she almost died,
yet maybe that could be one
of those beautiful disasters because
her coming back made her
Happier today.
she, like me, will never be fully Happy,
but Happier for us, will suffice.
and then despite the
tragedies that we each are,
we manage to have that Happy Family
that even Happy people don't.
all these being said,
thank yall for the past week
of birthday hoohaa,
i may not be the happiest of humanbeans,
but i know that ive been
dispropotionately allocated
a whole alot of
Really Good Friends.
9:30 PM